A Real Friend

I'm 4yrs old and and while sitting in the sandbox a 6yr old comes and snatches my bottle and begins drinking my milk :(
A friend would share theirs with me, but a real friend would put they bottle down and go after the 6yr old yelling "Janel get the bottle" lol

I'm 10 yrs old and my 4th grade teacher left a note in my book for my mom about how I been misbehaving in class :(
A friend would feel bad and bring the homework over after school, but a real friend would photo copy the note and get in trouble with me so we can have each other to talk to in detention.

I'm 16 yrs old and I think I might be pregnant :( but I'm scared to take a pregnancy test
A friend would be asking mad questions like who's the baby father? did you tell your mom?, but a real friend only wants to know when I'm going to the clinic so she can skip class to come with me.

I'm 20 and I'm 5 months pregnant and I just found out my baby died, I'm in the hospital bed starving because I'm not supposed to eat before the operation :(
A friend is waiting to hear from me to see how I'm doing because she heard I lost the baby, but a real friend is in the cafeteria of the hospital sneaking me some food before my surgery.

I'm 30yrs old and my boyfriend of 7yrs just proposed to me :)
A friend would be calling to congratulate me on the good news, but a real friend would be at my house slapping the shit out of me because she knows the bullshit I went through with this guy for the past 7yrs and she cant believe I'm still with him let alone marrying him.

I'm 60yrs old and I'm planning to retire, All my friends decide to throw me a retirement party
A friend would show up with some knitted quilts and arts &crafts, a real friend would slip me a bottle of Moet with a note saying "Once these old hags leave the real fun begins ;) You ready for Chocolate Thunder?"

I'm on my death bed and there's one last thing I want but I can't seem to get the words out :(
A friend would be by my side asking "What is it? What can I get you?", but a real friend would be in their car heading back from McDonald's bringing me my double cheeseburger so I can die with a smile on my face :)

I love all my friends both the real and not so real... Lmao